>>> THE UPCOMING PROGRAM WAS PREVIOUSLY REPORTED.

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ON THIS PROGRAM ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF WTJX, ITS BOARD, STAFF, OR UNDERWRITERS.

♫♫ ♫♫ >>> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.

THANK YOU FOR TUNING IN TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF THE WELCOME MAT.

I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF INTRODUCING YOU TO A NEW FRIEND OF THE SHOW.

A PERSONAL FRIEND.

MISS BRITNEY BRYN ROBINSON.

I SAID YOUR NAME RIGHT?

>> YOU DID, THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.

IT´S EXCITING TO BE HERE.

>> PEOPLE DON´T KNOW THIS, BUT WE USUALLY GO BACK AND FORTH ON ISSUES SO WE´LL KIND OF OPEN UP TO SOME CONVERSATIONS AND JUST TREAT IT LIKE SOMETHING.

>> I GOT IT.

>> IT´S REALLY GOOD HAVING YOU.

IT´S ALSO GOOD HAVING YOU THIS EVENING TONIGHT AS WE SPEAK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS.

MORE SPECIFICALLY, THE EXPECTATION WE HAVE IN INTIMATE PARTNER RELATIONSHIPS.

EXPECTATIONS IN A RELATIONSHIP ARE OFTEN DEMONIZED AS THE ROOT OR THE CAUSE OF DISPLEASURE.

IT´S OFTEN A PART OF WHO WE ARE BUT THAT´S NOT A BAD THING.

WHETHER IT´S A NEW RELATIONSHIP OR WORKING TO MAKE AN EXISTING ONE HEALTHIER, EXPECTATIONS ARE ALWAYS UP.

KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEALTHY, REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS AND UNREALISTIC ONES REALLY DETERMINE THE SUCCESS OR FAILURE OF A RELATIONSHIP.

BRITNEY, DO YOU THINK THAT PEOPLE HAVE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS?

>> DEFINITELY.

I SEE THAT PLAY OUT ON SOCIAL MEDIA ALL THE TIME.

I FEEL LIKE BOTH SEXES ARE, HAVE A LOT OF -- >> I WAS ABOUT TO SAY, BECAUSE I SEE A LOT OF, FROM MY PERSPECTIVE, AND THIS MAY NOT BE WITHIN THE RELATIONSHIP OR BEFORE A RELATIONSHIP ENSUES, I FEEL LIKE WOMEN HAVE THE EXPECTATION THAT MEN HAVE TO BE 100,000 ALREADY.

THEY HAVE TO BE ABLE TO SHOWER THEM WITH EVERYTHING BEFORE WE EVEN GET TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE, AND THEN IF WE SAY HEY, I DON´T WANT TO DO ALL THAT.

>> YEAH, IT´S VERY SUPERFICIAL AND LIKE SURFACE LEVEL.

I WISH WE COULD STRAY AWAY FROM THAT, BUT I THINK THEY´RE LOOKING AT CELEBRITIES AND SEEING THE LIFESTYLES THEY LIVE AND SAYING OH, WELL, THIS IS HOW I SHOULD LIVE WHILE THEY´RE IN A WHOLE OTHER TAX BRACKET.

THEY HAVE THESE EXPECTATIONS OF BEING WINED AND DINED.

YOU HAVE SOME LEVEL OF THAT, BUT ULTIMATELY, YOU SHOULDN´T BE ASKING ON THE FIRST DATE.

>> MY OPINION, I GET KILLED ON SOCIAL MEDIA FOR THIS.

HEY, IF YOU´RE PRETTY MUCH I BUY YOU, IF YOU WANT A MAN TO BUY YOU, THEN YOU KIND OF WILL BE HIS PROPERTY, RIGHT?

BECAUSE I THINK, AND LET ME ASK YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE THE RESIDENT WOMAN AND SPEAK FOR ALL WOMEN, RIGHT?

YOU HAVE A JOB.

YOU´RE NOT MARRIED.

YOU HAVE A -- YOU ARE, BUT NOT IN THIS SCENARIO.

YOU HAVE A JOB AND MEET A MAN AND YOU WANT HIM TO FINANCE YOU.

SPLITTING BILLS.

SO IF HE PAY YOUR RENT, HE PAYING FOR FOOD, HE PAYING FOR EVERYTHING ELSE.

HE PAYING FOR YOUR BILLS, YOUR CONDO, STUDENT LOANS.

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR MONEY?

>> I´M SAVING IT.

>> FOR WHAT?

THAT´S UNREALISTIC STUFF THAT WE´RE TALKING ABOUT.

>> FOR ME, SPLITTING BILLS, I FEEL LIKE IT HAS TO BE UP TO THE PEOPLE IN THE RELATIONSHIP, YOU KNOW?

IF THAT´S WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU, THEN THAT WORKS BEST.

I WOULDN´T SAY OH, YOU SHOULDN´T SPLIT BILLS AT ALL.

YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE EARNINGS.

IS IT BEST FOR YOU TO PAY ALL THE BILLS?

IS IT BEST FOR US TO SPLIT?

YOU HAVE TO BE REALISTIC AT THE END OF THE DAY.

JUST BECAUSE YOU´RE A MAN, DOESN´T MEAN YOU SHOULD HAVE TO PAY ALL THE BILLS.

>> CUT THAT WHOLE SECTION OUT AND JUST MAKE THAT THE ARGUMENT.

AND MEN HAVE UNHEALTHY EXPECTATIONS AS WELL.

WE LOOK AT WOMEN AS THINGS AND IF THOSE THINGS ARE USED OR USED MORE THAN WE WOULD WANT THEM TO BE, THOSE THINGS ARE NO GOOD.

THAT´S JUST RIDICULOUS, TOO.

>> RIGHT.

I THINK FROM A MAN´S PERSPECTIVE, THEY EXPECT WOMEN TO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY AT ALL TIMES.

THERE´S A LOT OF PRESSURE THERE.

TO BE LIKE THIS TROPHY WIFE, YOU KNOW?

>> SO, THE LINE BETWEEN HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY EXPECTATIONS TO ME COMES IN KIND OF THE FORM OF COMPROMISE.

SO IN THE SPACE OF SAY AN EXPECTATION OF BOTH PARTIES MIGHT BE WELL, HEY, I WANT MY PARTNER TO ALWAYS JUST KIND OF BE ABLE TO ANSWER A PHONE WHENEVER I CALL HIM.

OR BE AVAILABLE WHENEVER I NEED HIM TO BE AVAILABLE.

OBVIOUSLY, WE´RE ALL JUST KIND OF ONE PERSON.

WE CAN´T SPLIT OURSELVES INTO MULTIPLE PIECES.

I THINK COMPROMISE IN PLACES LIKE THOSE, LIKE, HEY, IF YOU´RE NOT ABLE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION, IF YOU´RE NOT ABLE TO REACH BACK TO ME, JUST LET ME KNOW YOU´RE BUSY.

>> COMMUNICATE.

RIGHT.

>> I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEF WITH COMPROMISE THOUGH.

WHY?

>> I JUST FEEL WITH CERTAIN THINGS, I SHOULDN´T HAVE TO COMPROMISE.

FOR EXAMPLE, IF I WASN´T MARRIED, I´M QUOTING, I SHOULDN´T FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO COMPROMISE MY VALUES.

THOSE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS I HOLD NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART SO I´M NOT COMPROMISING ON THAT.

I´M NOT COMPROMISING ON SOMEONE ISN´T SELF-LESS, ISN´T COMPASSIONATE.

IN TERMS OF BEING REACHABLE AT ALL TIMES, I MEAN, THAT´S UNREALISTIC, RIGHT?

YOU KNOW, THAT PERSON HAS A LIFE AS WELL.

SO I CAN´T EXPECT THAT PERSON TO ALWAYS BE AVAILABLE FOR ME.

>> YOU HAVING A LIFE, BECAUSE MEN DO THAT AS WELL.

I THINK IF WE´RE ALL INDIVIDUALS BEFORE WE DECIDE TO COME TOGETHER AS A UNIT, THAT WOULD BE A LOT BETTER BECAUSE THERE´S NO WAY FOR ANOTHER PERSON TO JUST KIND OF FILL A VOID THAT YOU HAVE WITHIN YOURSELF.

BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY, I MEAN GOD FORBID, NONE OF US ARE HERE FOREVER.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN THAT PERSON ISN´T HERE ANYMORE?

JUST MAKING SURE THE WORD COMPROMISE IN THE VOCABULARY.

LIKE NO, PEOPLE ARE LIKE I AIN´T COMPROMISING FOR NOBODY.

COMPROMISING, OKAY.

SO DID YOU FEEL LIKE IT WAS YOU GIVING SOMETHING UP?

>> I DID.

YEAH.

I DID FEEL LIKE I HAD TO GIVE UP A PART OF ME.

IN A RELATIONSHIP.

AND I NEVER, EVER WANTED TO DO THAT, YOU KNOW?

SO THE WORD, COMPROMISE, TO ME, WAS KIND OF NEGATIVE.

>> WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND?

NOT TO DIG IN YOUR BUSINESS, BUT WAS THERE SOMETHING OR SOMEONE THAT WAS KIND OF SHOWED YOU THE LIGHT?

>> I THINK US BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP, I´VE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR TEN YEARS NOW.

MARRIED.

I GIVE PROPS TO HIM.

BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME, YOU LEARN.

THAT A LOT OF THE WAYS YOU THINK AREN´T NECESSARILY RIGHT ALL THE TIME.

>> ANOTHER THING THAT I HAVE LEARNED AS WELL AS I FELT LIKE I´VE SAID IT ON THE SHOW AS WELL, BUT I´LL SAY IT AGAIN.

WHEN YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP, YOU SHOULD KIND OF NEVER SEEK TO WIN.

>> CORRECT.

>> BECAUSE IF YOU´RE A TEAM AND YOU WIN ON ANOTHER PERSON, YOU LOSE.

>> YOU BOTH LOSE AT THE END OF THE DAY.

>> JUST KIND OF GAIN INTO THE IDEA, AND OF COURSE THERE ARE DIFFERENT LEVELS TO RELATIONSHIPS, BUT IF YOU KIND OF SEEK IN, BE AT THE ULTIMATE LEVEL OF MARRIAGE OR WHATEVER YOUR LEVEL IS.

BECAUSE NOT EVERYONE WANTS MARRIAGE, OF COURSE.

I THINK IT DOES HAVE TO BE THE RESEMBLANCE OF THE TEAM ASPECT.

ONCE I WIN, WE BOTH WIN.

ONCE ONE OF US LOSES, WE BOTH LOSE.

>> CORRECT.

MOST DEFINITELY.

>> RIGHT.

THERE´S A RECURRING THEME THOUGH AMONGST PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY ON SOCIAL MEDIA, SPEAKING ON WOMEN TO SUBMIT, OR THE LACK OF SUBMISSION IN RELATIONSHIPS.

THERE´S A HOT BUTTON FOR BRITNEY.

PEOPLE HAVE A KNEE JERK REACTION.

BY DEFINITION.

THE ACT OF SUBMITTING POWER TO ANOTHER WITH THE EXPECTATION OF THAT OFTEN FALLING ON THE SHOULDERS OF WOMEN, IT CAN BE REMINISCENT OF TIMES WHEN WOMEN WERE VIEWED AS SECOND CLASS AND THE PROPERTY OF MEN.

SUBMISSION CAN MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS TO MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE THOUGH, SO YOU WILL SUBMIT?

>> I AM NOT.

I NEVER HAVE.

NEVER WILL.

>> SUBMIT TO YOU?

>> I DON´T WANT THAT EITHER.

>> WHAT DOES YOUR VIEW OF SUBMISSION MEAN?

>> OKAY, FOR ME, SUBMISSION MEAN TO GIVE UP ALL CONTROL TO SOMEONE THAT´S IN AUTHORITY OVER YOU.

THAT´S MY UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT SUBMISSION IS.

>> SO IN THE MOMENT OF SUBMITTING, BECAUSE WE´RE NOT TALKING ABOUT YES, MY LORD.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, MY LORD.

WE´RE TALKING ABOUT HEY, WE´RE HAVING A CONVERSATION AND I FEEL LIKE IT MAY BE BEST FOR US TO INVEST SOME MONEY IN A JOINT ACCOUNT IN SOME THING.

AND OF COURSE, OUR CONVERSATION IS HAD AND YOU MIGHT BE TO THE SPACE OF WELL, HEY, I WOULD JUST KIND OF PUT MY TRUST IN MY HUSBAND BECAUSE THIS IS JUST SOMETHING I FEEL LIKE HE´S PASSIONATE ABOUT.

TO ME, I THINK THAT´S SUBMISSION.

>> I DON´T FEEL LIKE THAT´S SUBMISSION.

I FEEL LIKE I´M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU TO DO WHAT´S BEST FOR US.

>> AND YOU SUBMITTED TO THE WILL.

>> NOT NECESSARILY BECAUSE A CONVERSATION WAS HAD.

>> I THINK THAT MIGHT BE THE -- SEMANTICS.

WE DID MARRIAGE COUNSELING THROUGH OUR CHURCH BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED.

>> WE DID, TOO.

>> THEIR THING WAS BASED OFF OF THE BIBLE, WHICH I NEVER PRESCRIBED TO THAT MAN IS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD AND THE WOMAN IS THE -- OR SOMETHING.

NO, IT WAS SOMETHING -- IT WAS LIKE, OKAY, I´M THE HEAD AND SHE WILL SUPPORT ME.

>> RIGHT.

>> I DON´T WANT TO BE, AND THIS MIGHT SOUND WEAK TO SOME PEOPLE, BUT I DON´T WANT TO BE THE HEAD, LIKE, I DON´T WANT TO BE MY FINAL WORD GOES, BUT I THINK IN SOME INSTANCES, I WANT HER TO TRUST ME AND I WANT TO TURN AROUND AND TRUST HER AND SUBMIT TO HER.

HE SAID THAT, HE SUBMIT TO GABRIELE UNION AND PEOPLE WERE KILLING HIM FOR THAT.

HE WAS PRETTY MUCH SAYING SHE HAD HER STUFF BEFORE WE GET TOGETHER.

SHE PROBABLY MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN I AM.

>> YEAH.

>> AND LIKE, I DON´T RUN ANYTHING -- A LOT OF PEOPLE LOOK AT HIM AS WEAK FOR SAYING.

>> I THINK IN A RELATIONSHIP, BOTH PEOPLE SHOULD LEAVE.

I´M SORRY, LEAD.

SHOULD LEAD.

I KNOW THERE ARE TIMES, I HAVE STRENGTH, YOU HAVE STRENGTH, WE LEAD IN CERTAIN AREAS, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, I DON´T THINK ONE PERSON SHOULD LEAD THE HOUSEHOLD.

THERE MAY BE TIMES WHERE CAPACITY IS NOT THERE TO DO IT.

SO YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE SHARED RESPONSIBILITY OF LEADING THE HOME IN A RELATIONSHIP.

>> SO, IF WE GO BACK TO SAY THE ARCHAIC DEFINITION OF SUBMISSION, DO YOU THINK THAT WOMEN WHO DECIDED TO SAY, HEY, I WANT TO MAN TO, I´VE SEEN IT SAID THAT IF MEN WERE BETTER LEADERS, THEN I WOULDN´T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SUBMITTING.

DO YOU VIEW THOSE WOMEN DECISIONS TO SUBMIT?

>> I MEAN, IT´S ON THEM.

I DO THINK THERE IS A LITTLE BIT OF BRAINWASHING THERE WHEN YOU SAY THAT.

AGAIN, I JUST DON´T FEEL LIKE ANYBODY SHOULD SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER.

BOTH PARTIES SHOULD LEAD.

>> IT SHOULD KIND OF BE A GIFT THEN.

NOT TO SAY A GIFT, BUT IN THE SENSE OF, IF I -- IF MARSELNA MAKES ALL THE MONEY IN OUR FAMILY, SAY SHE PROVIDES FOR US, RIGHT?

>> FINANCIALLY.

>> FINANCIALLY.

IT WOULD BE BEST FOR ME TO CREATE A SUPPORT AT HOME.

I FEEL LIKE, THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION, IF SHE MAKES ALL THE MONEY, SHE SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAY, OKAY, WE ARE OR WE´RE NOT GOING TO BE DOING X, Y, Z.

AND I WOULD SUBMIT TO THAT BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE -- >> WHY?

>> BECAUSE WHY WOULD I HAVE A -- WE HAVE A CONVERSATION.

WHY WOULD MY PULL BE MORE ON HERS WHEN IT´S ESSENTIALLY HER MONEY?

>> MONEY IS NOT THE ONLY THING THAT´S CONTROLLING A RELATIONSHIP AT THE END OF THE DAY.

YOU KNOW?

SHE´S SUPPORTING THE HOUSEHOLD FINANCIALLY.

EMOTIONALLY.

YOU´RE THERE DOING OTHER THINGS IN THE HOME.

SUPPORTING HER.

>> I AM.

I AM.

AND I AGREE WITH THAT.

WHICH IS WHY THE CONVERSATION IS A CONVERSATION.

MY PERSONAL OPINION IS THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY, IF THAT´S ALL -- SO EVEN IF I WERE TO EXTEND THAT CONVERSATION TO SAY WELL, HEY, WHEN YOU DO CERTAIN THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE, YOU NEED TO DO IT IN THIS WAY SO MY JOB IS EASIER.

SHE SHOULD SUBMIT TO ME IN THAT WAY.

>> I DON´T THINK IT´S SUBMISSION.

I JUST THINK THAT´S COOPERATION.

I THINK WE JUST GOT TO GET RID OF IT.

>> DO YOU THINK MEN, YOU PROBABLY DO, BUT HOW DO YOU THINK MEN I GUESS MAYBE KIND OF EXPLOIT WOMEN INTO SUBMITTING?

>> WE COULD BE HERE FOR HOURS.

>> WE HAVE A FEW MINUTES.

>> IN MANY WAY, I MEAN, I THINK WITH FINANCES IS SAYING OKAY, WELL, IF I AM SUPPORTING A HOUSEHOLD, THEN YOU HAVE TO COOK, YOU HAVE TO CLEAN, YOU HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING ELSE.

BUT -- >> BRITNEY, MAN, THAT GOES BACK TO MY THING.

IF YOU´RE NOT DOING THOSE THINGS, THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> SHE COULD HAVE HER OWN HOBBIES.

HER OWN BUSINESS.

>> HAVE HOBBIES FOR LIKE -- >> IT´S SITUATIONAL.

>> THERE´S OTHER THINGS PEOPLE DO.

MAYBE TAKING A CLASS.

TRYING TO BETTER THEMSELVES.

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT STAY AT HOME MOMS ARE DOING TO BETTER THEMSELVES.

>> WELL SEE I FEEL THEN, SAY SOMEBODY THAT DOES SUBMIT IN THAT LIGHT.

LIKE THEY HAVE A EASY LIFE.

IF YOUR PARTNER GOES OUT AND WORKS, WHATEVER IT IS THEY DO, AND YOU STAY HOME, MAN, YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK I WILL LEARN FRENCH.

YOU JUST GET TO SIT AT HOME AND LEARN FRENCH AND COOK NO FOOD BECAUSE THEY BUY FOOD AND DON´T CLEAN THE HOUSE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A MAID.

>> WE´RE NOT SAYING SHE WON´T DO THAT EVER, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, I THINK MEN ABUSE IT.

THEY DEFINITELY EXPLOIT WOMEN AND FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE TO DO X, Y, AND Z IN A RELATIONSHIP JUST BECAUSE THEY´RE A WOMAN.

>> BUT BASED ON EXPECTATIONS, WOMEN SAY MEN HAVE TO DO X, Y, AND Z.

YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE PROPOSED TO RUSSELL.

>> OH, ABSOLUTELY NOT.

>> WHY?

YOU SEE, YOU´RE SEXIST.

>> I´M NOT.

WOMEN OFTENTIMES ARE THE ONES THAT ARE VERY FLEXIBLE.

WE´RE OUTWARDLY EMOTIONAL.

WE TEND TO GIVE A LOT OF OURSELVES AND MEN DON´T.

FOR WHATEVER REASON.

WHETHER IT´S UPBRINGING OR THEY JUST DON´T FEEL LIKE THEY´RE NOT COMFORTABLE TO DO IT, BUT WOMEN OFTEN GIVE A LOT OF THEMSELVES AND I FEEL LIKE A PROPOSAL IS NOW FORCING YOU, THE MAN, TO BE OUTWARDLY EXPRESSIVE AND BE EMOTIONAL AND TELL ME I WANT TO BE YOUR LIFELONG PARTNER.

THAT´S JUST WHAT IT IS FOR ME.

IF A WOMAN WANTS TO PROPOSE, THAT´S ON HER, BUT IT´S NOT FOR ME.

>> LISTEN, HEY, YOU GOOD AT THIS.

BECAUSE IF WE WEREN´T ON TV, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT PROPOSING.

YOU´RE A WOMAN OF FAITH.

>> YES.

>> HOW DO YOU, I GUESS, COMPROMISE WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT THE ROLES AND EXPECTATIONS OF MEN AND WOMEN TO YOUR, I HATE TO CALL YOU A MODERN DAY WOMAN, I JUST DON´T LIKE THAT TERM.

BUT TO THE MODERN DAY EXPECTATIONS?

>> I STRUGGLE WITH IT A LOT, TO BE HONEST.

BECAUSE I WAS BORN, RAISED IN THE CHURCH.

I´M STILL VERY ACTIVE IN MY CHURCH.

I´M A COUNCIL MEMBER.

AND THE BIBLE CAN BE VERY SEXIST, TO BE HONEST.

VERY OPPRESSIVE WHEN YOU READ SOME OF THE SCRIPTURE.

I WAS READING ONE TODAY THAT SAID WOMEN NEED TO BE SILENCED AND LISTEN TO THE MAN.

I JUST, THAT DOESN´T ALIGN WITH ME AND WHO I AM AND WHAT I WANT FOR MYSELF.

I STRUGGLE BEING A WOMAN OF FAITH.

BEING MARRIED.

ALSO, ENCOURAGING OTHER PEOPLE TO BE OF FAITH AND TO READ THE BIBLE AND YOU KNOW, FOLLOW THE WORD, BUT YOU KNOW, IT´S A STRUGGLE OVERALL FOR ME.

>> SO THEN GOING BACK TO YOUR ANALYSIS OF WOMEN BEING A LITTLE BIT MORE FORTHCOMING WITH THEIR EMOTIONS.

THE MEN NOT SO MUCH.

THERE ARE OTHER STEREOTYPES WITH MEN LEADING MORE WITH LOGIC AND WOMEN LEADING WITH EMOTION.

NOT TO SAY THERE´S ANYTHING BETTER OR WORSE WITH ANY OF THE TWO.

I THINK THE BIBLE AND THINGS OF OLD, ESPECIALLY WHEN WOMEN WERE LOOKED AT AS PROPERTY, I THINK A LOT OF THOSE THINGS INTO CONSIDERATION TO SAY WELL, HEY, IF THE MAN HAS THE MORE LOGICAL MINDSET, THEN THEY SHOULD BE THE PERSON TO SAY WE SHOULD DO THIS AND DO THIS AND DO THAT SYSTEMICALLY.

AND THE WOMAN, BEING THE LEADER EMOTIONALLY, SHOULD SAY, OKAY, WELL, HEY, THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT THE CHILDREN ARE GOING TO DO.

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT OUR FAMILY ARE GOING TO KIND OF TAKE PART IN TOGETHER, BUT EVERY OTHER ASPECT WOULD THEN BE CONTROLLED BY THE MAN.

AND GOOD OR BAD WOULD HAVE BEEN RELATIVE THEN, BUT NOW I BELIEVE THAT AS MORE WOMEN ARE IN POSITIONS OF POWER.

PROFESSIONAL WOMEN.

>> WOMEN ARE EARNING MORE, TOO.

>> GOING TO COLLEGE AT A HIGHER RATE, ESPECIALLY IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY.

AND JUST SOMETHING THAT WE KIND OF HAVE TO LOOK AT AND SAY WELL, HEY, THINGS SHOULD CHANGE AND I´VE SEEN OTHER THINGS SAY, HEY, MEN DON´T CARE ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY A WOMAN MAKES.

>> THEY DO.

>> WE KIND OF -- GO AHEAD.

>> I THINK THEY DO.

THEY´RE OKAY WITH WOMEN MAKING MONEY AS LONG AS IT´S NOT MORE THAN THEM.

>> THAT´S THE THING.

OUR FRIEND KEVIN SAMUELS, REST IN PEACE.

USED TO GET CALLS FROM WOMEN WHO HAD EXPECTATIONS OF THE TYPE OF MEN THAT THEY FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD ATTRACT.

THEY WERE BUSINESSWOMEN.

THEY OWNED THINGS.

THEY HAD PROPERTY.

THEY HAD THEIR OWN HOMES.

THEY MAY HAVE HAD CHILDREN FROM PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS.

KEVIN WOULD SAY OKAY, WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE?

>> THAT´S JUST RIDICULOUS.

THAT DOESN´T MATTER.

>> IT SHOULDN´T.

>> ON A VERY SELFISH LEVEL, AGAIN.

>> BUT WHAT HE WAS TRYING TO SAY OR TO EXPLAIN TO THESE WOMEN IS SURE, YOU MAY BE GREAT BUT THE MAN YOU´RE LOOKING FOR THAT MAKES TEN TIMES THE AMOUNT OF MONEY MORE THAN YOU IS NOT LOOKING FOR YOU TO BRING YOUR $500,000 TO THE TABLE.

SO WHEN WE SAY MEN DON´T CARE ABOUT MONEY, WHAT WE´RE SAYING IS THAT EXPECTATION -- PLEASE MAKE ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD.

BUT FOR THE MEN WHO HAVE IT, THEY´RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THEY DON´T HAVE.

THEY´RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO I GUESS ACCENTUATE THEM.

AND THE WAY HE EXPLAINED THESE THINGS TO THE WOMEN, WOMEN LIKE YOU WOULD SAY -- >> THOSE MEN ARE SUPERFICIAL.

YOU DON´T WANT THAT TYPE OF MAN.

>> MEN ARE SUPERFICIAL.

>> IT´S SAD, BUT NOT EVERYBODY´S LIKE THAT.

BECAUSE PEOPLE IN CERTAIN TAX BRACKETS WANT TO DATE CERTAIN PEOPLE IN CERTAIN TAX BRACKETS.

>> THAT´S IN THE MIDDLE.

SAY I WANT MY WOMAN TO MAKE MORE THAN ME.

I´M MAKING $200,000 A YEAR.

THAT´S SIGNIFICANTLY FOR US, THAT´S SIGNIFICANTLY WELL OFF.

IF MY WIFE MAKING SIX FIGURES.

MAYBE LIKE $80,000.

THAT´S SOMETHING WHERE WE´RE LOOKING AT SAYING OKAY, HEY, WE CAN PUT TOGETHER AND INVEST IN THIS.

WE COULD GET A BUSINESS TOGETHER.

WE COULD DO X, Y, Z.

IF I´M MAKING A MILLION DOLLAR, I DON´T REALLY CARE.

I DON´T REALLY CARE.

>> SO THEN MY QUESTION IS DO YOU THINK MEN ARE LACKING, THOSE THAT HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS, DO YOU THINK THEY´RE ALSO LACKING WHEN PURSUING WOMEN?

>> I THINK 100%.

>> ARE THEY TOO FOCUSED ON WHAT THE OTHER PERSON IS BRINGING TO THE TABLE?

>> NO, I DON´T THINK WE´RE FOCUSED ON WHAT THE PERSON IS BRINGING AT ALL.

IF WE´RE TALKING FROM OUR SIDE OF THE TABLE, THE MEN.

IF WE´RE OUT HUNTING, WE DON´T CARE.

YOU COULD READ AT A SECOND GRADE LEVEL.

WE REALLY DON´T CARE.

>> WOW.

>> BEING HONEST.

ME, NO, BUT OTHER MEN, I KNOW MEN.

IF WE´RE TALKING ABOUT SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, I THINK A LOT OF MEN ARE REALLY LOOKING, ESPECIALLY IN TIMES LIKE THESE, WE´RE LOOKING TO BE UNDERSTOOD AND WE´RE LOOKING TO BE OPEN, TO BE MORE VULNERABLE THAN WE HAVE BEEN.

I THINK THERE´S, THERE´S A I HATE MEN CAMPAIGN OUT THERE.

MEN´S FEELINGS DON´T PARTICULARLY MATTER TO WOMEN, IN MY OPINION.

THE GENERAL CONSENSUS.

IT´S KIND OF LIKE HEY, MEN FEEL THIS WAY OR MEN FEEL THAT WAY AND WOMEN WILL BE LIKE, OH, THAT´S BECAUSE OF THE PATRIARCHY.

>> I THINK IT´S BECAUSE MEN HAVE GONE SO LONG WITHOUT CARING ABOUT WOMEN´S FEELINGS SO NOW IT´S LIKE COME TO THE POINT WHERE WOMEN ARE LIKE, OKAY, WE´RE FED UP SO WE´RE NOT GOING TO CARE ABOUT Y´ALL NOW.

I FEEL, TOO, ALSO, THAT MEN DON´T CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER´S FEELINGS.

>> SO WE HAVE TO PUT OURSELVES IN A POSITION TO NOT BE AT WAR WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE THAT´S WHERE I COME INTO A SITUATION WHERE I HAVE MY DIFFERENCES.

YOU HAVE YOU ARE DIFFERENCES.

IT´S A SURVIVAL MECHANISM, RIGHT?

>> YES.

>> BECAUSE WE´VE BEEN AFFECTED IN THE PAST BY DIFFERENT THINGS AND WE ARE NOW APPROACHING EACH OTHER IN PLACES WHERE WE´RE PRESENTING A FACADE, RIGHT?

>> YEAH.

>> AND TRYING TO MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS.

YOU MAY OR MAY NOT TRY TO MEET MINE BECAUSE WOMEN BE LIKE, OH, I CAN´T COOK FOR HIM AND I CAN´T GIVE HIM WIFEY PRIVILEGES AND STUFF LIKE THAT, WHICH IS STUPID.

SORRY, WOMEN.

SO WE´RE NOW KIND OF PLAYING THIS GAME OF HEY, I WILL STEP BACKWARDS SO YOU CAN TAKE SOME STEPS TOWARDS ME.

THAT´S HOW THE WAR IS USUALLY SOMETHING THAT JUST KIND OF BUBBLES OVER.

>> I FEEL LIKE ULTIMATELY IF PEOPLE JUST FOCUSED MORE ON THEMSELVES AS OPPOSED TO WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE IS BRINGING, I THINK WE´D ALL BE IN A BETTER PLACE.

THAT´S HOW YOU FIND YOUR PARTNER.

WHEN YOU´RE FOCUSED ON YOU AND YOU´RE DOING THINGS TO MAKE YOURSELF A BETTER PERSON, THAT PERSON´S GOING TO COME ALONG BECAUSE THEY´RE DOING THE SAME THING.

>> WOULD YOU SAY THAT HAPPENED WITH YOU?

>> I GOT SUPER LUCKY.

WE WERE YOUNG AND BROKE COLLEGE STUDENTS.

>> I WAS THINKING ABOUT ALL THE LUCK THAT KIND OF HAS TO COME INTO PLAY AS WELL.

IF YOU MAKE A CHECKLIST WITH YOUR EXPECTATIONS, YOU´D BE HARD PRESSED TO FIND EVERYBODY THAT CHECKED ALL THOSE THINGS.

>> OH, YEAH, AND IT GETS HARDER AS YOU GET OLDER.

>> BECAUSE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT WERE IMPORTANT AREN´T ANYMORE.

YOU ADD NEW THINGS TO YOUR VALUE SYSTEM.

IF I WOULD SAY THAT I HAVE A FORMULA TO HOW TO GET A WIFE, I LOOK UP, TOO.

AND IT´S JUST KIND OF ONE OF THOSE THINGS.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO A WOMAN TO I GUESS MAKE HER EXPECTATIONS MORE MANAGEABLE?

>> JUST LOOK INTO YOUR CORE VALUES AT THE END OF THE DAY.

LET GO OF ALL THAT SUPERFICIAL EXPECTATIONS.

HAS TO BE 6´4".

HAS TO DRIVE A -- >> SO YOU WOULD DATE A GUY SHORTER THAN YOU?

>> MAYBE.

I MIGHT.

>> THAT´S INTERESTING.

YOU´RE NOT A SHORT LADY.

SO THERE MAY BE MEN SHORTER THAN YOU.

>> IS THIS GUY SHARES THE SAME VALUES AS ME, IS KIND.

I´M MARRIED NOW.

>> OF COURSE.

THERE´S NO MINIMUM AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU WOULD HAVE TO MAKE.

>> NO.

IF THAT PERSON IS AMBITIOUS, DRIVEN, HAS EARNING POTENTIAL, YES.

BUT I CAN´T SAY, WELL, HE HAS TO MAKE $200,000 A YEAR OR WHAT NOT.

I´M VERY FLEXIBLE.

I THINK WOMEN SHOULD BE MORE FLEXIBLE.

>> YOU FEEL AS THOUGH WOMEN FEEL LIKE YOU FEEL.

>> NO, THEY DON´T.

I DON´T THINK A LOT OF THEM DO.

BUT -- >> I THINK FOR MEN, I THINK WE HAVE TO QUELL OUR EXPECTATIONS ON WOMEN BEING SUBMISSIVE.

I´M PAYING FOR THIS SO I SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO, I SEE SOME OF THESE THINGS FOR PEOPLE WHO SPEND MONEY ON WOMEN JUST FOR A DATE.

LIKE THEY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

>> HAVE ACCESS TO THEIR BODIES.

>> I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE THE EXPECTATION ABOUT WOMEN TO BE AS YOU´RE LEADING INTO, WORKING ON THEMSELVES.

>> RIGHT.

>> WE UNDERESTIMATE SO MUCH.

HOW MUCH THINGS PEOPLE IN US AND AS WE GET OLDER, WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN 80 YEARS OF EXPERIENCES, NOW 30 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE AND 35 YEARS OF EXPERIENCES.

SO YOU WANT TO KIND OF GET ENGAGED WITH SOMEBODY THAT JUST KIND OF HAS THE STUFF TOGETHER, BUT KIND OF WORKING.

IT´S VERY GOOD CONVERSATION, BRITNEY.

WE HAVE TO WRAP UP.

YOU WILL BE BACK.

>> YES, I WILL BE BACK.

>> I KNOW YOU GUYS WILL BE BACK.

IT´S BEEN GREAT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU GUYS.

MAKE SURE YOU ENGAGE ON THE WTJX FACEBOOK PAGE.

YOU CAN CATCH THESE EPISODES OF THE WELCOME MAT ON WTJX.ORG ON DOWNLOAD THE APP.

THANKS AGAIN FOR TUNING IN.

>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.

>> PEACE.

♫♫ >>> THIS VIEWS EXPRESSED ON THIS PROGRAM ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF WTJX, ITS BOARD, STAFF, OR UNDERWRITERS.

>>> IT´S A BLACK TIE, RED CARPET AFFAIR.

CELEBRATE 50 YEARS OF MILESTONES AND MOMENTUM ON OUR 50th ANNIVERSARY GALA ON SATURDAY, AUGUST 13th AT 6:00 P.M. JOIN US FOR COCKTAILS FOLLOWED BY LIVE MUSIC.

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COME CELEBRATE WTJX´S GOLDEN ANNIVERSARY.

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